One of my mottos is to always do what scares you. Personal growth or some nonsense. I’ve always wanted to write more and never do. A large portion stems from a fear of judgement; so here’s a “book” that I started and never came back to. Feel free to send thoughts. I’m hoping that the simple act of sending it will provide some catharsis that’ll allow me to actually write more, even if it never gets shared again.
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Most days suffer the general consequence of bitterness, cynicism, and tedium. However, there are certain days where the sun shines brightly and a sense of optimism floats like potential on the air, waiting to be snatched. Thankfully, statistics have proven that on these days – likely due to the Universe tiring of their overly romanticized nature – that the Fates conspire to the production of unlikely events, a good portion of which conclude tragically.
It was on a morning of the latter disposition that Tobias Aves woke up in a generally cranky mood. Not for any particular reason, merely the universality of having to wake up before one wants to; no amount of sunshine, chirping birds, or entertaining agendas can alter this fact. After keeping his eyes shut and wistfully hoping the morning would actually arrive a few hours later, Mr. Aves sat up in bed with a yawn and a feline stretch. Feet would slide into a pair of cozy slippers (deep navy, dotted with stars, and matching his pajamas) and then carry him to the window. Much to his pleasant surprise, the early golden glow favoring the tree-lined street of his suburbia, paired with actual recollection (no one’s mind functions properly for a solid five minutes after waking) that he should be excited for the day, did much to alleviate his previous curmudgeonly attitude.
The suffering of humanity is well documented; famine, illness, war. Loss, destruction, and violence. Then, of course, there are the more typical miseries of everyday life: Working too hard for too little. Moving on from old relationships. Boredom. Paying too much for rent in New York City. The ever present fear of bed bugs. Watching reality television. The most unfortunate consequence in Tobias’s life was that it was lived too easily. His parents loved him very much and instilled the values of respect and hard work, alongside an overabundance of hope and kindness. That’s not to say that he was a walking carpet. The privilege of life had given him assertiveness and confidence; his height and build were tall enough and broad shouldered enough to stand out, without ever having to fear being mistaken for muscular.
With the slightest bounce to his step, he went through his morning routine, everything in it’s proper place and returned after use. Opening up his laptop, he turned on some background music, if for no other reason than to alleviate the silence; it wasn’t that he disliked living alone or even the quiet that came with it, but background noise helped seem to harmonize the ever-present stream of thoughts in his head. Without outside intervention, his thoughts were rampant and random, much like a blizzard – assuming that the snow fell in every direction, including back up into the sky, and that the snowflakes were of varying shapes and sizes where even the smallest ones might be important enough to smack into his eye. Through simply adding in active hearing, as little attention as he may pay to it, it gave his mind some semblance of order, more akin to an onslaught of typical snow, rather than an upended blizzard.
JP Passero
New York, New York
[email protected]