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March 21 2016

Well, now that I've got your attention...My friend and I like to create fake characters in our video games and mess around. Our favorite character is a striker for DC United in FIFA named Dicky Priest. Dicky is well over 6 feet tall and sports a look of perpetual wonder, along with a green afro. Dicky is a dumb idiot who runs around the field with a big green blob on his head and makes us all laugh. One time, he got his head stuck in the net after a goal, somehow.

As stupid as it sounds (and is), Dicky has gotten me through a lot of tough times in college. Whenever I'm feeling stressed, I start up a game of FIFA and just wait for Dicky to do something ridiculous. I don't tell most of my friends about this, because I don't want them to think I'm a lunatic with imaginary FIFA friends. But, seriously, this big dumb idiot has made me laugh during some of my roughest moments in college and I can't discount that.

Never take yourself so seriously that you can't laugh at a fake soccer player with a giant green afro. Student body elections just happened at my college. My friend Varun and I ran a write-in campaign for "Spicy Meme" to win a seat on the student senate. It was stupid, undoubtedly, but it was one of the more fun things that I've done in college. During my junior year, I convinced my friend Aidan that people had confused his phone number with the number for Papa John's.

Finally, let's go Mets!

Mike Massaroli
[email protected]
Washington, DC

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