Shame and Regret

December 21 2015

I'm a 13 year old boy trapped in a 52 year old man's body.
It's funny because that's the opposite of what my son says about himself.

I have no shame. I've done stuff some people would say I should feel
shame for. I've had sex in places and at times and with people that
were probably not appropriate. I've used drugs and drank to excess.
I'm not ashamed of any of it. I have not hurt anyone emotionally or
physically, at least not any more than they deserved. I would be
ashamed of that if I had. This is the only life I'm going to get so I
intend to live it, at least as much as I can within the confines of
the situation I find myself in.

I have regrets, for things I didn't do. I started doing things late
in life. I should have started doing things when I was young and
beautiful. Now that I'm old and hideous they are more difficult if
not impossible. I'm not good at anything but I keep trying. Things I
enjoy I keep doing even though I am terrible at them. I'm glad most
people are patient with incompetent old farts who try to do stuff they
are bad at.

If you are reading this, you still have time.

Ian Harding
Tacoma, Washington USA

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