Look Ma, I wrote a thing!

July 20 2015

Kids are crazy. They are little human shaped balls of energy that can go from happy to enraged in 20 seconds flat. I should know because I have 2 of them, both girls. One of them is named Sydney (age 10) & the other is Annabella (age 7). They are both insane... of course, it takes one to know one.

Once I watched a PBS show on how they made cheese. To my naive eyes, it appeared like they were putting water into a large vat & stirring it continuously. Later that evening, while I was taking a bath, I thought it would be a fantastic idea to try to make cheese by swirling the water around in the bathtub. I pretty much succeeded in making a large mess, but no cheese, which was disappointing.

When I was a teenager, my mom would tell me to do certain things around the house before she got home like emptying the dishwasher or dusting the living room. Occasionally I would be asked to vacuum the main level of the house. The carpet is pretty thick. I figured out that if you ran the vacuum over the floor (not plugged in), it would show the same pattern on the carpet that it would if you really vacuumed. So I would get lazy & just move the vacuum around the room before she got home. It wasn’t until later in life that I realized it took the same amount of energy to do it the “lazy” way or the right way.

Now a word from my crazy kids:

Sydney - "Kevin doesn't like thunder storms."

Annabella - "Riley doesn't like tomatoes."

Sydney - "What does that have to do with what we were talking about? Tomatoes do not fall from the sky nor are they thunder or lightning."

Me - "If I have it, I don’t share it. If I share it, I don’t have it. What is it?"

Sydney - "Ebola.”

"Ooooo.... I got a butt whisper. Never mind, it escaped." - Sydney

Sydney - "It says in this book that she holds up a cussing finger at someone. What does that mean?"

Me - "A what?"

Sydney - "A cussing finger..."

Me - "Oh... Accusing finger.”

Sydney - "Is the Loch Ness monster real?"

Annabella - "No! Scotland is an old place full of make believe things.”

Annabella - "I wish we could have a cat."

Me - "Yeah, if only my eyes didn't water and itch every time I touch a cat."

Sydney - "I think I am allergic to sisters because my face is itchy right now.”

Annabella - "Were you alive in the 90's?"

Me - "Yes..."

Annabella - "You got to see black and white!”

Sydney - "Why would Dumbledore play golf?"

Annabella - "Because he's old.”

"Curse myself for making my Pokemon too strong." - Sydney

Some quick facts about me:

I play World of Warcraft (Horde-Tanaris, battle tag MaraJade#1539).
The Dresden Files rocks my face off.
I make geeky earrings & sell them on Etsy.
My top 3 favorite movies are The Princess Bride, Monty Python & the Holy Grail, & Jaws 3.
When I listen to 80’s music, it makes me homesick because my mom listens to it most of the time.
Love Star Wars.
One of my very good friends, Joe, is a librarian. I love to read. Thank a librarian the next time you see one.

Hit me up sometime in game or through email!

You say "Force Choke"... I say "Loving Long Distance Throat Hug."

Ashley G
[email protected]
Space Coast, FL

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