Turn Down For What

April 24 2014

This is really intimidating.

I've followed the listserve my sophomore year of college after my boss at one of my internships told me about another listserve about cheap apartments in Manhattan, I accidentally subscribed to the wrong one (and wound up living in a 2 bedroom apartment in the middle of nowhere Brooklyn with 3 other people). Three years and hundreds of emails from strangers later I've finally been chosen. So stoked.

I don't have any life advice to give because I'm 22 and need more advice that I can give/ I find it somewhat annoying when people send out email blasts about how everyone needs to do *said thing* to reach *said results*.

I'm just going to tell you all what's going on in my life because it's currently a shitstorm and what better way of working through your problems than to email a bunch of strangers.

I graduate college in a few weeks and I'm panicking. I'm not panicking because I majored in something I love and I can't make any money with it (which I did, no regrets), I'm panicking because there are so many things that I want to do and places I want to go and according to my parents I have no direction.

I have to read Eugene Thacker's What is Biomedia and write a response that is due in 9 hours. I should be working on that instead of writing this email.

I found out I was pregnant in January, which is scary enough when you are 22, single, on the brink of starting real adulthood, and alone, but it was even worse when I found out it was ectopic. One of my closest friends told his aunt and he drunkenly told me that she was "embarrassed for me because I couldn't even get pregnant right". It might have been the meanest thing I've ever heard anyone say about me. We got in to a huge fight and stopped being friends.

After spending my entire college career single, I met a great guy 2 months before graduation. I realize that it's unrealistic for us to actually be in a relationship (even though we essentially are, idk, it's confusing), but I hope it works out with us. He's such a great guy and makes me unbelievably happy.

I'd never tell him that.

Better to Best by You Blew It! has been my jam since their latest album came out. If you are having a bad day you should listen to it.

Maybe it wouldn't hurt to try to be happy.
Maybe things aren't quite as bad as I let myself believe.

Feel free to email me back and tell me how to become a functioning adult.

Keep it real,

[email protected]
New York

comments powered by Disqus