An enthusiastic, creative leader seeks opportunities to plan and execute pranks, scandals, and mischief in the name of freedom and the spirit of community.
Forgery, 1st grade
Replicated mother's signature to confirm that she understands a homework assignment was not completed.
- Teacher didn't glance twice at masterful forgery
- Mother was spared paperwork and disappointment over the missing assignment
[NOTE: timeline discontinuity caused by skipping the 2nd grade]
Buttered Chalkboard, 3rd grade
Coordinated with six classmates to bring sticks of butter to school on prank day. Before the first bell, teammates slathered butter onto the chalkboard seamlessly.
- Teacher didn't notice any butter residue, attempted to write on the board as usual
- The board was completely chalk-proof, and curriculum eased for the day
- Best friend was sent home with a note inquiring whether there was excess butter at home; best friend's mother confirmed that there was, indeed, excess butter at the house
Sex Equality Protest, 4th grade
Assembled all girls to protest that the boys were assigned to wood shop while the girls were assigned to knitting class
- Unified classmates and raised awareness of gender stereotypes
- Gleaned insight into wood working
- Not a single disciplinary action recorded
- After numerous protests, forced back into the rudimentary yarn manipulation class, knitted safe-for-woodworking intarsia gloves of own design and pattern while classmates completed scarf assignment
Tobacco Access Demonstration, 5th grade
Staged a demonstration to draw attention to kids' access to cigarettes by having students bring large supplies of cigarettes to school, then having the hall monitors hand out cigarettes instead of chalk
- Numerous attempts by teachers to write with cigarettes on chalkboards; succession of cigarettes snapped
- Classes interrupted, responsibilities of hall monitors re-examined
- Loyalty and untraceable planning resulted in minimal disciplinary retribution, organizer never identified
- Demonstration foresaw anti-smoking movements that followed a decade later
Campus Excursions, 3rd - 5th grade
Led students around elementary school and neighboring high school during school hours
- Observed unfamiliar practices among students of various ages, interests, and backgrounds
- Introduced student body to novel campus resources
- Afforded opportunities for informal, convivial conversations with principal
Surprise Birthday Party, 12th grade
Brought cake, candles, and balloons to a 7:20am AP physics period. Gathered fellow students in a celebratory performance of "Happy Birthday" in honor of the teacher. It was not the teacher's birthday. Not even the month.
- That's the surprise!
- Cake for breakfast for sleepy seniors
- Merriment that precluded rigorous physics instruction for the ensuing double period
- Smiles and cheer rather than disciplinary action
[NOTE: timeline discontinuity caused by immigration and subsequent abject loneliness and despair spanning 6th-12th grades due to detachment from social network and placement within schools that ignored/devalued all the previously esteemed abilities that allowed mastering a new language in two months and placing into calculus BC at age 15 - but then who cares when you're not born into the school district, right, and you don't conform. I'm a grown woman, and I still begrudge my high school counsellor and principal. How are you doing? I mean they wouldn't let me into honors English! Ever! But I turned out fine/well educated except, yeah, eff them.)
- Created a high fashion anti-status status symbol, itself an It bag
- Launched Math-Club, where people drink at post-graduate math talks and professors are rock stars
- Covered the Beastie Boys in French
- Coded and designed an iPhone game called Video Ace, launching soon (yay, let’s play!)
Los Angeles, CA