I won The ListServe Lottery, not on April Fool’s Day, but on National Sibling Day, as an only child.
I was born and raised in China, a country known for a lot of things, including the “one child policy.” More than half of the people started to ask about the “one child policy” right after they knew I was born in China.
Do you guys still have that policy?
Why did your country have that policy?
Does China really have a large population? How large is it?
But I heard that people still had more than one child, right?
Blah blah blah.
Yes, we did have that policy, because we did have and still have a large population. It’s very large.
It’s 1/5 of the world’s population.
Right now if two only child get married, they could have two kids.
Just two.
No more than two.
However, what I want to talk about today, isn’t that policy, but a question that has been lingering in my head — how different would I be, if I had a sibling or two?
Recently at work, we interviewed a lot of people for a project. A young women in her late twenties said that her little sister, who’s now nine-year-old, is like her baby before she has her own baby. She would tell her all the lessons that she’d learned in life to prevent her from making the same mistakes. And her biggest wish is for her little sister to grow into a happy and healthy young lady.
I was so moved. I never had that kind of feeling. I never loved anyone in this world unselfishly and unconditionally other than my mom and dad.
I never had a big sister who could have warned me not to fall for Mr. Wrong;
I never had a big brother who could have taught me how to pitch, how to dance, and how to explore the world;
I never had a little sister with whom I could have shared every little secret and every pretty dress;
I never had a little brother whom I’d call dumb and obnoxious all day long but be secretly proud of.
A “mean” friend of mine always says that because I’m the only child, I’m spoiled. I’m eager to win and I always want everything.
But I disagree. Because I was given everything growing up, I cannot care less about monetary things and thus find myself less competitive in a lot of situations.
I cannot prove he’s wrong, nor prove I’m right.
If I had a sibling…
Would I be tougher? Would I be stronger? Would I be kinder?
Would I be more considerate? Would I be more patient? Would I be more mature?
How would they shape me and help me become someone different and better?
I now live a Pacific away from my parents. If I had a sibling, would him or her move here to be closer to me? Would we be each other’s support?
I don’t know. And I will never know.
It’s not like, I’ve never had a true adventure so I’m ready to take a true adventure;
It’s not like, I’ve never fallen onto the cold, hard ground so I’m ready to take the biggest chance.
I could never go back in time and grow up once again with a sibling.
Don't be greedy with your love for your siblings, coz there are people longing to have one.
Yisha Zhang
LA, CA, USA
@yishazhang
[email protected]