Just Some Small Things

July 19 2017

Try to say "thank you" instead of "I'm sorry." Example: "I'm sorry for being such a downer" vs. "thank you for being here for me during this tough time." People love to feel appreciated, so try to express that when you feel it.

I went through an awful, awful breakup in 2015. I was dumped and I felt abandoned. I was beyond depressed, couldn't eat for over a month, had trouble sleeping, felt terrified that I would never get over this person, that I might never /want/ to. But less than two years later, I've got a wonderful new partner, I'm confident in my ability to survive on my own, and I'm more fulfilled than I've ever been. I searched constantly for messages that it would get better while I was in my darkest times, and some of those lights in the darkness came from the Listserve. So just know that if I can do it, you sure as hell can. I thought everything was over. But all emotions fade, and we will always return back to a steady center - equilibrium is the rule of life.

I'm only 22, but I already feel kind of jaded about the world. I don't know if this is just a thing with my generation, or if it's inevitable with passing into adulthood, but I would love some advice on dealing with the transition into adulthood and staring down the face of endless cycles of debt and what feels like the slavery of working life.

I'm nonbinary! This basically means that I don't feel like I fit in either social category of "man" or "woman." I also prefer to be referred to with the singular "they/them" pronouns, rather than either she/her or he/him. My identity has been met with a LOT of confusion, and even when people mean well, anger and derision. My advice to you if you meet or know someone who says they are nonbinary is NOT to fight with them about the validity of their identity. They've already decided this is who they are, so your arguments will get you nowhere. Even if you don't really know what they're talking about, all you really need to know is what to call and not call them, so feel free to ask them! I can't speak for anyone else, but personally, I'm not trying to make anyone feel uncomfortable or threatened by my existence, I'm just trying to exist in the simplest sense in a world that insists that I dont. So, do your best to not be one of those insisting voices - it's not that hard. Even if you don't really understand deep down, your small act of acceptance will mean a lot to someone.

Thank you for reading. Sending many blessings your way. <3

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