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July 09 2017

Life is hard. I have about three autoimmune diseases. I’m racking them up. I figure maybe if I get another it will cure the first three. Who knows what cures what? I have Crohn’s disease, that’s probably my worst. If you know someone with Crohn’s disease and you care about them, let them know you’re there for them. It’s invisible unless you go up the bum with a camera (not without permission!) and it makes life super duper hard. Sometimes it’s great just to have someone say, ‘hey, it really sucks what you got. I’m here for you.’ That’s IBD. If you know someone with IBS tell them to stop pooping so much. (Jk I’m sure that’s rough too).

I had to stop eating for 48 hours to make sure I didn’t have a problem during a show once (I’m an actor). WE ALL HAVE THINGS TO OVERCOME. I’m on new drugs that work now, hurray! I’m going to be successful and this makes it all the more sweet. The higher the mountain, the more satisfying it is reaching the top. That’s mine. I just wrote it. Quote me. Life is hard. My muscles are almost hard, working on it, GO TO THE GYM IT’S LIFE, GYM IS LIFE, IRON, PUMP THE IRON, IRON IRON IRON LIFT WEIGHTS, EVEN SOCRATES WAS SWOL AND HE’S SMART, SMART PEOPLE CAN BE SWOLE DO IT, DO IT NOW.

What have you always wanted to do with your life? Do it. Did your brain just say it’s impossible? Well it’s not. Shut up brain! You smell. You big stinky brain. Just do it. The only thing stopping you is yourself. Really, it’s true. Look up external and internal locus of control. Try to work on training the latter.

If you’re the girl that sat across from me on the N/W heading into Astoria a couple of weeks ago, I can’t get your face out of my head. I got off at 30th ave, contemplated giving you my number, one of my favorite quotes rushed into my head. Lew Ashby in Californication has no shot with this woman but goes after her anyway. She turns him down politely and he says: “life is just too ****in’ boring not to try.” Well that quote ran through my head and then the doors closed. That’s not inspiring anyone is it? Sorry readers!

I have this list of people I want to thank saved on my phone. If you don’t know why you’re on this list, feel free to email me and ask if you see this. If you don’t know why you’re not on this list, honestly, it’s a small list of super specific events in my memory.

Chef Jenny Saratoga Turf Club
Lisa Raven NYFA camp
Vinny Santini
Chris Hempel
Mom, Dad
Grandma Myra, Grandpa Burt
Doc O
Cesar (the sandwhich guy, you the man)
Amanda Murphy
Fraser Corbett

Thank you all for helping me at various important times of my life.

If you live in NYC and want to get coffee/water, let’s! If you’re an artist and want to collaborate with a smokin’, charming, basically flawless actor (tongue-sticking-out face), hit me up! I’m already lined up to play Wolverine when they reboot the series, the producers/studios/writers/directors/everyone possibly involved just don’t know it yet. (I’ll tell them soon).
My friend jokingly said I should plug his instagram. Well here I am doin it for real. Everyone follow ThaduesKevinBrown, he’s a good man!

Also my brother makes music! Nozartsounds dot com, he’s a pro!

Thank you for your time,

Sam Kellman
New York City
[email protected]
Feel free to email!

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