Donald Trump Wins The Listserve!

September 13 2016

"When the Listserve sends its emails, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re sending emails that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems to you. They’re bringing spam. They’re bringing preachiness. They’re bringing pseudo-intellectualism. And some, I assume, are good emails."

Just kidding Listservians. I now know firsthand how difficult it is to come up with something creative and original. I actually have been really impressed with the emails I have received from The Listserve. So many have shared personal and sometimes painful stories, and I really appreciate the courage and effort people have shown.

I am a 43 year-old attorney living in Maryland. I run an ediscovery law firm, and write sometimes entertaining blog posts about it.

I spend my time hanging out with my family, cheering on the Terps, eating nachos, watching TV, botching crossfit, and reading.

Some of my personal highlights since 2008:

• 9/25/08: I knew that my son dropped his toothbrush down the drain, but was surprised when the plumber found FIVE toothbrushes down there.

• 12/9/08: I’m at the shopping center watching two kids get arrested. I think I just saw the cops plant some evidence.

• 12/25/08: At Lion Country Safari. Ostriches are feisty.

• 5/30/09: Just had an ostrich burger (vengeance is sweet!)

• 12/8/09: A woman on the metro told me that her son was reading the same book as me. Then she told me he was in the 4th grade.

• 3/3/10: Going to my 21st Maryland-Duke game.

• 3/30/10: Just got a Kindle! No more nosey metro ladies mocking my reading level.

• 9/3/10: The mean camp won in Camp Rock 2? Most disappointing movie ending since Rocky I.

• 12/6/10: I have a favorite Jonas Brother : (

• 2/5/11: The opening scene of The King's Speech was completely ripped off from 8 Mile.

• 2/9/11: I'm at my first concert since Public Enemy in 1991 (Miranda Cosgrove).

• 8/30/12: Happy 103rd Birthday to my beloved Grandma Esther!

• 11/22/12: This Thanksgiving, I am so thankful for my wonderful friends and family. I am also thankful for my 1999 fantasy football championship, omelets with pastrami inside, Carly Rae Jepsen, nfl redzone, Amy Farrah Fowler, Facebook' s ability to allow me to minimize actual human interaction, the entire cast of ICarly, Stefon Diggs, Stefon Urkel, extra-large kindle font, Hard Times Cafe wings and chili.

• 12/23/12: Sad that our awesome au pair is going home to visit her family for Christmas. Happy that I don't have to wear pants in the house for the next 10 days.

• 3/8/13: I got my favorite seat on the metro : ) I have a favorite seat on the metro : (

• 11/17/13: Terp game with me, the boy, and President Obama.

• 9/16/14: I don't normally like to do stuff, but I'm pretty psyched to be going to see Aziz Ansari tomorrow night with my wife.

• 8/8/15 Just finished the 15 book Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan. It was kind of meh.

• 10/3/15: Per Facebook memories, I had a carvel football cake on my Birthday for the 5th straight year.

• 12/24/15: Nooooooo!!!!!!!! Lobster House...permanently closed. I don't ask much from life... just health, happiness, and an occasional 10 pound lobster.

• 3/27/16: Coach K—Still despicable after all these years.

• 8/3/16: I dressed up like an adult today... and had wine at lunch : )

David Tanenholz
[email protected]

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