A delivery misadventure

August 17 2016

Last year, while living on the other side of the country, I because very hooked on entering sweepstakes. To my surprise, I came home from work to find a UPS notification on my front door: I actually won a giveaway! My mystery prize required a live signature for delivery. I became overly excited, dreaming about the amazing prize that required nothing short of physically being placed into my awaiting hands. The had tried to deliver it, and the notice explained that they'll attempt 3 times and then it will be returned to sender. Attempt 2 was too late to stop. I logged onto the website provided to reschedule it, since due to working a traditional 8-5 schedule, I could not be home between 10-4 on a weekday.

That's when I learned they had me right where they wanted me.

Want to reschedule delivery? That'll be $5.
Want a weekend delivery? Tough crap. Not an option.
Want a new address (aka: work)? $5 please.
Want to pick it up yourself at a local UPS store? Sure, for $5.

Me, screaming at the computer: "What are my free options for this thing that I have no idea what it is???"

1. Return to sender (Seriously. That's an option they list on their website.

2. Drive to the middle of nowhere and pick it up myself at a free warehouse.

Guess what I got to do later that week?

It better be a damned pony.

(Approximately 3 days later, I went to claim my mystery package. It was not a pony. It was a box of cereal. My brain exploded.)

[email protected]
Chicago, IL

comments powered by Disqus