Somehow, I feel like people don’t get to talk enough.
One of my big beliefs as a kid was that there was no such thing as a quiet person, just a situation that made them quiet or where they could/would not speak.
I challenge each any every one of you to go wild, to talk to whoever, whenever for as long as you want saying anything and everything that comes to mind without fear of judgement or consciousness of audience.
How many of my generation right now have real, REAL friends? Not a squad or a clique, but someone or some people who you can interact with without censoring yourself at all… I’m sure many do and many do not. and that proportion is something fluid, changing by changes in perspective, by meeting new people and reconnecting with parts of yourself or others that you hadn’t in a while.
A friend of mine while exploring an interest in the innocence project recently said that the death sentence reduces the entirety of a human being, their love, their curiosity, generosity, spice, tenacity, chutzpah, talent, and opportunity for anything and reduces it to the worst thing they’ve ever done. This is my interpretation, but the statement was originally “a person is not the worst thing they’ve ever done” and thus by sentencing a person to death, you hone in on the worst thing they’ve ever done and make everything else meaningless in sentencing that person to death.
I think the most perfect thing in the world is an imperfect idea. Because when people hear it, everyone has something to say about it, ways its wrong, its right, can be improved or is offensive. Maybe it’s just a way of giving arbitrary value to a series of unfinished thoughts thats lead me to say this but I think there’s immeasurable value in giving people the feeling that they can and know how to change and improve on something. I think unfinished, sporadic crazy thoughts give people that ability sometimes.
I just started a new job, and i can tell you that saying a nice thing, taking interest in someone else’s world, doing something, ANYTHING, that shows that you’re a little interested in their existence, and saying it with confidence, makes a huge difference in your life and the other persons.
A girl I know described her experience with a guy she just started dating as constantly being saved at the last minute, as in this guy would do or say a series of things she didn’t really connect to or love and then just as things were waning, he said or did something that she really understood/connected with and it saved the relationship bringing the chemistry back up to the stars. Just hearing that characterization
Remember that the right advice for your professional development is likely very different and might even oppose the right advice for your personal happiness, development, wellbeing whatever buzzword you use that carries the least amount of BS in your mind.
I’m scared that as I’m growing up I’m seeing less and less of the world and of people and i want to get to the root of it the way a doctor diagnoses a patient with a rare but identifiable virus.
I don’t know if I’ve always been anything but i know i’ve always been someone who teetered between the more patronizing “Philosophical” and the less challenging “wise.” (Less challenging in that recognizing someone as wise feels to me like less of a challenge, because it supposedly recognizes something you’ve said as valuable, but doesn’t move along the conversation or idea.
Years ago when I first devised a plan to write for the listserve i told myself that what the world needed was more honesty. i deeply believe that nothing bad can happen when you’re just honest. This evening, I took that to mean giving something unfiltered to show people where my thoughts are on any given day (which albeit is probably a weird way to interpret honesty and may not even be that). I know I could have said something more helpful professionally, or do my best to put on my DFW hat and get you all to think differently about something surprising and awe inspiring but also right under your noses, but I didn’t and I hope that some of you still enjoyed it.
Last but certainly not least I want to thank the following past writers for your emails. They’ve inspired be, humbled me, brought me up when i felt down, exposed me to a new literary voice and given me endless inspiration.
Questions:
Do you think there is a right time for something to come up in conversation at a point when it’ll carry the most weight? What about in professional situation or with a therapist? What thing in life do and don’t exist on a spectrum (Sexuality, gender, Depression, Anxiety, Success etc.) Is there anything you see as absolute? Do you think you can entertain these thoughts in your current life striving for professional success of personal satisfaction?
Daniel N.
[email protected]
New York, New York