The Legends of El Bandito Burrito

December 31 2015

I trekked through the snow for what felt like hours. My clothes were doing nothing against the gusts of wind beating against my body. Felt like it wouldn’t be long before I pass out and freeze. Soon I could walk no more and fell to me knees. I couldn’t feel my arms or legs and was certain all hope was lost.

Then I smelled it. Queso and beans filled the air around me. I was nowhere near civilization so where could it be coming from? Next I smelled guacamole, and then sour cream. Somehow the smell was getting closer.

And that is when I saw a figure through the falling snow.

“Who’s there?”

It was hard to see all of him at first. With each footstep his spurs made a clinking sound. The bright red bandana was hard to miss, and then his mustache and brows. His full shape then came into view and he paused.

“What...what are you?”

He was a tall wrapped tortilla. His hands rested on the holsters of his pistoles. And his sombrero was larger than I am. It was El Bandito Burrito.

I was scared when he took a step towards me but I could not move. I don’t know if it was the cold wind or his incredible gaze that struck me still. All I know is I didn’t budge from being on my knees.

Not a word was spoken as he came in close and wrapped his arms around me. My cheeks felt his tortilla caliente. Even in the freezing cold his body could not chill. A tear escaped my eyes knowing I was warm and safe.

Taking off his sombrero he wrapped it around me. The thing somehow covered my entire body. And out from his head even more warmth spread.

“Th-thank you.”

Feeling was returning to my arms and legs. I wondered if I should try to run, but then I wondered why bother? How far would I get before I lose feeling again? All that mattered is I was safe and alive. Who cares if it was a burrito who saved me? There in his arms, I fell asleep.

Next morning I woke up and the sun was out. The shining warmth filled me with joy and I leaped to my feet in excitement. I looked around and saw I was alone. El Bandito Burrito had stayed with me through la noche and disappeared.


I know not if he was anywhere close enough to hear me. Still I had to try. I never saw him again to express my thanks. And that is my story of how I was saved by El Bandito Burrito.


I’ve been doing a lot of writing this past year. Mostly I write romance short stories, and about a month ago I started writing these quick little mini stories of El Bandito Burrito - fun, ridiculous legends of a character I made up. When I won The Listserve I decided to write a brand new one just for here.

Now I did recently launch a Kickstarter for writing more mini stories with El Bandito Burrito; mostly as a fun way for others to give me ideas as part of an anthology I’m going to publish with 50 stories. I haven’t decided if I’ll include the one above. It might be fun to keep it a Listserve exclusive.

Hopefully you enjoyed it.

~ Alex
[email protected]
Des Moines, Iowa

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