This Is The City That Never Ends

June 23 2015

I'm a singer-songwriter from New York and this March, I was lucky enough to go on a month-long tour through North America with an artist from the UK. I was the support act along the way, saw a few new-to-me American cities and a few I've seen before, but none of them stood out to me like New York always seems to.

New York City is the only city of the ones we visited that I grew up a 30 minute train ride from, but somehow it was still the one city on tour where I felt like I had so much more to see. New York, to me, is endless. I'm not yet sure if that infinite feeling will ever go away.

Since the tour, I've finally decided to stop living out of my childhood home and out of spare bedrooms that my friends have offered up in California and choose a place that I can call my own home. I'm two years out of college at this point, and it definitely feels like it is time to settle in somewhere. To be honest, I didn't really consider doing that anywhere except for New York... I'm not sure if it's the never-ending feeling that swirls around the city, the amount of culture and music that resonates through all of the streets all of the time, or if it's just simply the most practical place for me to be right now. I worry about it just being that last one.

Right now, I'm pursuing a career in music, so naturally I'm also working 9-5 in midtown at a job that I never really expected myself to be doing-- I'm truly not passionate about it and I'm not utilizing any of the skills that I've acquired throughout my life. Honestly, I actually don't really do much of anything here... at all. It may seem like a dream scenario; go in to work, do next to nothing, and walk home every week with a decent-enough paycheck to live in one of the world's biggest cities. It doesn't even sound that bad to ME when I put it that way, but I've never been one to get satisfaction from being lackadaisical. I've always derived happiness and self-worth from hard work, passion, and dedication. I get none of that satisfaction here.

In fact, I've turned this desk at work into a home office of sorts-- I'm writing this listserve email from this office, I also planned the entire month-long March tour from this office, and I spend a majority of my days here working with someone I care about so much (he actually showed me this listserve!) on furthering his music career and continuing mine. These are the things I can cite that I'm proud of at this point, this office has served as a vehicle for those things and I'm grateful for that.

And so I have finally moved to this great city... last week. I'm hoping that this move to New York will change things, that I will find my place in the city that never ends, that the electricity from the streets will seep into my veins and start pumping passion and excitement through my body again or it will at least shock me out of this place of comfort that's feeding discomfort. Even after spending so much time here, there's so much of New York City left to see and I truly hope it leaves me feeling infinite myself.

Hope you're all well!
[email protected]
New York, NY

PS If you'd like to check out the music of the one who introduced me to The Listserve, his name is Dylan Owen. He's unbelievably talented and incredibly hardworking, he deserves the best :)

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