Summary of changes to The Listserve terms of use and privacy policy

March 02 2015

Privacy

Your Privacy is very important to us. We will never use your sensitive personal information unless you want extra Twitter followers, got a gig next week, have a Kickstarter to plug, are doing some sort of art thing, or really crave attention.

Terms of Use

By continuing to use The Listserve, skimming The Listserve, filtering The Listserve into your junk folder, or thinking about The Listserve, you agree to the following terms of use.

1. You will undergo at least one (1) Life Change over the course of a morning or afternoon, in perpetuity. Life Changes consist of one (1) or more (7?) of the following:

*appreciating the Little Things in life
*traveling (international travel only; Africa counts twice)
*“getting over it”
*meeting your biological father/mother
*discovering/abandoning religion
*accepting your mortality (if applicable)

2. You will tolerate (barely) any “insights” and “revelations” from those younger than you, although seriously, everybody knows you don’t actually realize who you are until you’re at least 20/25/30/35/40/45/50 (choose one).

3. You will transcend time and space through the magic of the Information Superhighway and the latest in World Wide Web E-Mail technology. Welcome to the twentieth century! (update this when you get a chance bob)

Restrictions

The Listserve is not a substitute for the advice of a physician, psychoanalysis by a trained professional, hiking in the wilderness, prescription medication, self-medication, a freestyle rap contest, taking that first refreshing puff of a genuine Chesterfield cigarette in the morning, because Chesterfield is the cigarette that’s milder ... and tastes better!, or placebo.

Platitudes

*hang in there
*it gets better
*Doug Hennessey you’ve got to move on Vanessa would have forgiven you
*see the world
*think for yourselves sheeple
*there is a deep, underlying sadness in every person. Not everyone is depressed; it’s true. But I see depression everywhere I look. Depression and anxiety and really the whole gamut of human misery. Maybe I’m projecting. Or maybe there’s some truth in my generalizations. Therapy has helped me immensely. But I’m not seeing a therapist right now, and I feel it slowly creating an absence in my life. If you have the opportunity, I would urge almost everybody to go. Don’t be afraid to switch therapists until you find the right one. If you are terrified of the prospect, ask someone to help you get through it. If you can’t afford it, there are charities that provide counseling. None of this is easy, but it helps
*you are unique like a snowflake and also have perfect sixfold radial symmetry
*take care of yourselves sheeple

Requirements

Forward The Listserve to ten (10) people every day. If you do, you will have good luck and a million dollars. Or else you will only have medium good luck and half a million dollars. The choice is clear.

Feedback

We value your input. Please send questions, comments, errata, and spam to [email protected] (sign up for gmail when you get a chance bob)


Pugg Fuggly and The Listserve team
[email protected]
Cambridge, UK


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