maybe just start by buying some flowers?

January 30 2015

No globe-hopping greetings (aw) or inspirational aphorisms (phew) from me, I'm afraid. Just a favor to ask.

Please don't take someone you love for granted. Forgetting the thrill of those early years is as easy as falling asleep. Don't let it happen. I allowed myself to become unhappy, and I refused to work to understand why, and I utterly failed someone that I loved. I lost the most singular thing I ever had.

That was years and years ago. She's fine now, I think. Most of my friends have learned to forget it, and I am lucky--absurdly lucky!--to once again count myself loved. It took a long time, but I like my life again.

But the dreams about her are the giveaway, still there on way too many nights. I suspect they always will be. It would do no good, and probably quite a lot of bad, to tell this to anyone but internet strangers (hello there).

Maybe someday I will concoct a story about it all being part of a grander plan. That sounds pretty nice!

For now, please believe me when I tell you that some losses are permanent; that the ability to imagine yourself the hero of your own story is among these; and that there is no reason you must face any of this if you take time to care for yourself and those who love you. Hurting someone else can hurt you more than you might think.

I know, I know: more unsolicited life advice from the Listserve. Sorry. Given the opportunity, it's hard not to use this chance to share the most important thing you know.

Thanks for your time and for taking this seriously. Now go cheer yourself up, you deserve it. I hear good things about YouTube.

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