Every Bad B*tch I've Ever Known [excerpt]

June 29 2014

The following is an excerpt from the list of Every Bad B*tch I Have Ever Known:

"[1] There isn't a name that describes the magnificent, terrific creature that is my Grannie. She raised three kids almost entirely by herself, and then raised my Gramps' children, and a couple decades later her children's children. To support herself and her people she welded, worked for RCA, sold real estate, owned a nail salon, a liquor store and a laundromat. In the meantime, she taught me all the skills I would need to survive in prison: to spend days reading, play poker and be happy with my own company. She hasn't had a bad hair day since I was born, and has broken a single nail in two decades. The love she has for her family is only equaled by the murderous rage she has waiting for anyone that tries to hurt them; it is at both times the scariest and most enabling trait I have inherited from her.

[2] Judy is a native Texan who moved to DC to work for an organization protesting the Vietnam War. She became a lawyer and bought and flipped houses that are worth hundreds of thousands of dollars now in her spare time. She ate organic and local back when it was weird and fringe. She married my cousin and mentor, who couldn't have been less like her, and theirs is the love story that could immunize against romantic cynicism on a global scale. When she isn't telling people what she thinks she's simplifying my problems with chilling ease or reminding me that pragmatism isn't very useful if it doesn't make you happy.

[3] It's not entirely clear what Leah is going to be yet (philanthropist, mother and advisor will likely be among her illustrious titles). What is evident however is that she has the makings of being one of the baddest b*tches who ever graced this here planet. She serves as a baby whisperer for crying infants the world over. She knows everything about the Catholic faith, and almost everything about almost everything else. She taught me the real meaning of kindness, and let me join her family without thought. Nobody has ever bullied her into doing something she didn't want to do, and has never thought twice about putting the straying in their place, especially me. If you don't believe in a universal moral code, it's because you aren't familiar with hers yet. On behalf of the mad LC, you're welcome world."

To all of the women and men in my life who lifted me up so that I could achieve my dreams, who emboldened me to be always and unapologetically myself, everything I do is so that I can honor your love.

Yours sincerely -
Washington, D.C.

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