Failure to whom?

March 21 2014

Passive aggressively, I'm often told that I'm a failure in society. This fall I'm turning 38, and I have no family of my own, I don't own a home, and since about a year I no longer own a car. According to society and its standards, and therefore large parts of my surroundings, these points indicate personal failure. I know my family and my friends love me, but the notion is always there. The judging. The whispers. The nodding. All this because this little word: own.

This gets to me more than I want to admit, even though I have a good-paying job, I have a first hand contract on an apartment, and I had an awesome car. What gets me most are the standards we abide, that we’re supposed to want to have all those things. The fact that people are mindless sheep wanting all those things doesn’t bother me as much.

Marriage: The accrediting from a board of people ruling a virtually defined area of land and/or a board of people wanting you to pay them for the idea of that a guy lived some two thousands years ago and did good stuff and you should believe in him, that you love someone. Come on.

Kids: There are so many children in this world that don’t have parents, or have parents that can’t or won’t take care of them. Is it then really okay to put more kids into this rotting world out of an egoistic need/want?

Home: Although it’s very nice to have somewhere to live, Most of you home-owners don’t own a home. You’re merely assumed by a bank that you’re getting paid often and regular enough for them to lend you money and amazingly high interest rates. You are debt-owners, not home-owners. It should be possible to build and maintain a decent home based on a decent salary, which is not the case today.

Car: It’s quite awesome to have a car, to be able to go where you want and when you want. The problem is that most of the time you’re just using the car as a temporary cure to your own laziness, going to the store or to work or somewhere else. Most people live where there’s adequate public transportation. This is an inexcusable burden on the local environment. If I need a car for something specific, I can borrow or rent one. My bike is also an excellent way of transportation, with the added value of exercise and fresh air.

I just want to step off this ride, don’t want to be a part of it anymore. I can’t be part of it in a way that rest of you think is good enough, apparently. And this hurts me. Next month, I am moving back to Sweden, where I can regroup my thoughts, enjoy nature and fresh air. Hopefully I will have a better stance in a few months, and hopefully I’m relieved of most of the stress tearing me apart since a few years.

My friend Björn is about to take a very logical step towards his real happiness, with contesting all of these things mentioned above. Please find his project Burning Land where you can read more about his wonderful ideas.

What are your thoughts on my thoughts? Why don’t you send me an email or find me on Facebook?

Today it's sunny and warm outside; it's going to be a great day.

Anders L
Amsterdam, the Netherlands

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