I’m the same as a 5 year old me

December 15 2012

I hate small talk. It drives me nuts. I’ll admit it, I’m basically anti-social. I’ve struggled with it my whole life. I am 27 now, and I feel that I should be less pessimistic, but I’m not. I have a support system of family and a fiancé who “get” me. But, I have no friends of my own, though I don’t think I’m a total freak. I have two modes, I either open up completely to people who I shouldn’t because I see them as “different” or I dismiss people who I think are too “normal”. I don’t know why I have a need to connect on a deep level. It’s my eternal struggle and I just wanted to share it…

I lost my cousin earlier this year. He was 23. I wish he could have stuck around to become the person I know he was. I put my cat down on Saturday. I’ve had him ½ of my life. I miss you guys.

I perform improv in Chicago. My fiancé speculated that people in the comedy / improv community are probably more in tune to when people are depressed, etc. and are more likely to address it, because we either are / or have dealt with it at some point. And…I agree. I’m shy to a fault and I got into improv, begrudgingly, and honestly it is refreshing, I would love to get kids dealing with depression involved in it.

Thanks for reading, and here’s my self-promotion, I am a front-end web developer, I want to open a pickle shop, I want to start an animal charity program, I want to write / make performance art / make music / make art / make films. Let’s see how that goes.

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Chicago, IL, USA

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